No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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