Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize