He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
