how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
this boner is exhausting
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
