I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
