i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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