covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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