put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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