I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
