So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
