I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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