Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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