She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
