she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
