i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Randomize
