please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
