No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
