I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
