I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
