i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
