my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
