she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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