apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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