plz talk dirty to me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
