like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
