i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
