dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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