I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
