I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
is it fun? or sober?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
