I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
