It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
