so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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