My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
