i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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