just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Is it penis luge time yet?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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