I hate your face
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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