Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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