Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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