hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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