So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
