You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
