yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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