I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
