I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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