You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
