nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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