Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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