I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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