I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
