and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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