For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
