Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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