Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
