its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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