I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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