She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
