dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
