I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
