First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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